Recaptured

behind-bars

I thought I had escaped. I did for a while. I tried exercising the demon. Banishing him from my mind. I was doing good for the second week. Keeping my mind focused and replacing the thoughts as they popped up.  Then last night I had an odd dream. I all most never remember dreams. But in the dream the one who had haunted me through maladaptive daydreams was there. And as I woke the night dream flowed into a waking dream. It keep going and all of a sudden I realized I was a prisoner again. Is there no key to my chains?

Unhappy memories

I have come to terms with the fact that many people like me did not have a happy childhood to remember and that we should look to the future to make new happy memories and not look behind and mourn what we missed. Maybe our dreams are trying to rewrite our story. I want to resist this and look forward.

Trapped

Many of the themes of the dreams involve being trapped, or captive. What could this mean? Do I feel trapped? in my real life? I have a good life, I don’t long for anything. I want to be satisfied with reality. I think I am. I don’t know what I would change if I could change something. So is my subconscious telling me something? If so I don’t know what the message is. Do you think daydreams can be interpreted like night dreams? Night dreams are based on your subconscious trying to fix you. But they say daydreams are your desires and longings, I don’t agree. The things in my daydreams are not happy things, not things I long for. They are struggles, sadness, fear.