From Dreaming to Doing

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How do we get from dreaming of things to actually doing things? This is a big problem for Maladaptive Daydreaming sufferers. Many Maladaptive Daydreamers are singers, musicians, actors, and heroes in their minds. But in reality spend so much time engulfed in their fantasy world that they never get around to learning to sing, play an instrument, act, or help others. I’ve read posts from Maladaptive Daydreamers stating they have written many bestselling books in their minds, but never put pen to paper.

It is said that daydreaming can help you reach goals and succeed in life. But the trick is to take what you dream about and put it into practice. This is the part that MD blocks. Whether by simply keeping you too occupied in your fantasies to do anything for real, or by setting the bar so high for success that there is no use in trying. For example, in your dreams you may have a wonderful loving partner, but they are so perfect that no real person could ever fill that role. So you don’t even try to meet people or look for someone to share your life with.

So how do we break this cycle? I am in no position to give any advice on this. I have failed miserably in my efforts to do this.

  • Are you a person that has much to accomplish? Do your chores and responsibilities often get interrupted by daydreams or the urge to goof off? This guide just may help.

http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Daydreaming-and-Get-Stuff-Done

  • Dreams can only show a person what he needs in life; once he has identified his need he should start working actively towards the accomplishment of his set goals in order to transform his dream into reality.

http://www.easy-articles.com/Finding-Success-in-Life-How-to-Stop-Daydreaming-and-Start-Living-FA2633.aspx

 

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Maladaptive Daydreaming- Disaster

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How has the recent disasters affected you? Do you find yourself escaping into your dream world to void the harsh reality we can’t face? The bombings in Boston, the explosion in Texas, and all the images we can’t seem to get out of our heads. I have found that it is just the opposite for me. At the time when I need to escape the most, I can’t. Isn’t that strange? When I want to live in reality, enjoy my real life, my mind intrudes with the daydreams, steeling my time and concentration.

Even in my personal life I find this to be true. When one of my dogs developed a high fever and was found to have a large tumor in his lungs, I didn’t want to face it, I wanted to daydream. But couldn’t. We had to let him go the next day. I didn’t want to think about him, it just made me cry. I had him over 10 yrs. But I could not escape the pain by daydreaming. Why is this?

I guess it is safer for us that our minds try to stay in reality when things around us are stressful. But it is even a crueler joke on us to have this “disorder” that separates us from reality except when we desperately want it to.

 

talk about fantasy with fantasy writers.

http://iai.tv/video/the-great-escape?utm_expid=46113880-4&utm_referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com%2F

Maladative Daydreaming- Love and daydreams

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I was thinking this week about love, and how MD effects our ability to love. You can’t separate the mind from your emotions, at least I can’t. MD at times leaves us cold and distant, unable to care and empathize with the people around us. Still other times it makes us supper sensitive  and we feel too much. I believe it is due greatly to the inner focus MD causes.  Anytime we are consumed with what is going on inside ourselves we will have trouble caring for others.

And then there is the intimate relationships. From what I gather from my research love and fear are the most common daydream themes out there. It stands to reason since those emotions are very strong. So how does living out the experience of love in a daydream effect your ability to love in reality? I find it is very destructive.  Similar to what it is like after a break up. You start dating again but you still think about the other person. You can not fully give yourself to the new relationship as long as the old one is lingering in your mind. This is how MD effects my love life. There is always someone there, keeping me from fully committing emotionally to my spouse. You wonder if they notice, you feel guilt over it, like you’re short changing them in some way. These feelings contribute to depression, in my opinion.

Having developed MD later in life I can say it has negatively effected my marriage, but I can imagine those in their teens and twenties are really harmed in their changes of finding someone to really love them. Being only able to give part of themselves, while turning to their daydream world for the affection they crave. I think it hinders us in being able to bond with a partner, and inter a meaningful long term relationship. But this is most likely the case with most mental disorders.

But let’s not give up hope. If you can control your daydreaming to some extent, then force yourself to socialize and meet people. Try to stay in reality when around people, so you don’t “go cold”. Those of us who can’t stop or control it, well, we can still make every effort to focus on our loved ones when around them and try to be open to their needs. Helping someone else, showing compassion for others is shown to boost our mode and can help us dealing with the depression MD brings.

MD in the news!

Pay Attention, Daydreaming May Be Making You Unhappy

http://motherboard.vice.com/read/pay-attention-daydreaming-may-be-making-you-unhappy

‘Daydreaming is never random’

http://www.dailynewsegypt.com/2013/04/01/daydreaming-is-never-random-tony-buzan/

Phone Use Trails ‘Lost in Thought’ in Fatal Car Crashes

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-04-04/phone-use-trails-lost-in-thought-in-fatal-car-crashes.html